Captain’s Journal Entry: Some Assembly Required

Section 62, paragraph B12 of the corporate policy guide dictates that we must subscribe to Space Fancy magazine. Otherwise, I wouldn’t touch that thing with a ten-foot lightsaber. I mean, just look at it.


And if that weren’t bad enough, then the crew saw a “Replicator Device” in the catalog section, which claimed it could create ANYTHING … weapons, armors, even delicious Thanksgiving dinners!


After some weeks of begging, I had to admit that the crew had some money leftover in the social budget… so we ordered one.

Unfortunately, the assembly instructions were written in some interplanetary gibberish, and Zex failed mechanical engineering, as it turns out.


Our first attempt did not look like the machine in the catalog. So we took it apart and tried again.


Closer this time, but it seemed to warp time and space to evade assembly.


Finally, we have it mostly put together… I dread the day the crew figures out how to turn it on.

Out of Character lesson of the day: Always talk to your artist about how your assets have been put together before trying to put them in the game!